Grief, Never Good

Update...

My mom, Mary Chapman Long, passed away March 4, 2007 due to stomach cancer.

People use the expression "good grief." There is nothing good about it. It is miserable. Grief, in all its twisted stages, proves to me that you can never fully understand how very much you love and care for someone until they are gone.

But...there is comfort and joy in the fact that my mom no longer fights with stomach cancer. She did so courageously, with every intent of winning. We enjoyed the blessing of more time than she would have had without that fight. Her time to leave this earth came, and we were there to see her off.

They died within 37 days of each other, Mom and Dad. Certainly, that is not enough time to grieve for one, then lose the other. We were extraoardinarily close, deeply attached and our family continues to struggle with weekends, the time we almost always gathered at their home in Poplarville to eat, laugh and enjoy time together.

People warned us that Easter would be difficult. Really, not so much more than any other day. If there is any time of year that should remind us of the release from suffering into unbridled happiness that God promises, Easter is it. And the chocolate helps.

As I grieve, I try to mine the memories of our our lives together. I try to recall those moments in time when I felt most loved, when I laughed hardest, when tears came in a flood and finally receded, only to leave me stronger, wiser and glad to be alive.

Mom and Dad. A pair of one-of-a-kinds. Much loved, much admired by so many people.

Good grief, bad grief, I miss them so very much.